Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Try anal, it works wonders.

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  (478): Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week. (706): Try anal, it works wonders. http://tfl.nu/shua
  Replies (21) Good night (747) Bad night (2473)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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  (303): She went from zero to smokin in five shots http://tfl.nu/1faz
  Replies (1) Good night (2053) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.

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  (304): My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/mk68
  Replies (7) Good night (2873) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy

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  (614): see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy http://tfl.nu/v81p
  Replies (41) Good night (4433) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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  (780): Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube. http://tfl.nu/uqzu
  Replies (35) Good night (1128) Bad night (5430) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something

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  (917): Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something http://tfl.nu/o4s2
  Replies (7) Good night (3788) Bad night (1045)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

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  (303): Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic http://tfl.nu/n8k4
  Replies (10) Good night (3397) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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  (402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c
  Replies (30) Good night (7909) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.

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  (819): We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive. http://tfl.nu/7d2g
  Replies (20) Good night (4250) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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  (915): everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself. http://tfl.nu/tl80
  Replies (8) Good night (1925) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?

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  (317): do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards? http://tfl.nu/y683
  Replies (16) Good night (2021) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?

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  (818): I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal? http://tfl.nu/2gme
  Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.

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  (603): It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night. http://tfl.nu/ygzt
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

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  (360): ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present. http://tfl.nu/50t2
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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  (775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt

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