only you would photoshop your dick
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution