yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.