We're like a lot better than the average bears
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
