If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize