There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
