ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The dick lei will go down in squad history
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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