Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
