hell yes lets make some ravioli
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
