I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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