Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize