I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
