The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
