I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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