hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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