I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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