Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
