I'm really into asian looking animals
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
