i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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