Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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