Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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