I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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