The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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