I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
