i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize