I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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