Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
