Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
