Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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