i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
