well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
