Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
