I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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