Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
