So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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