After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
