There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
