ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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