Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
