gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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