dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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