you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
