She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize