It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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