Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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