does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
