I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
