You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
