So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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