Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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