the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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