I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
