last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize