Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
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All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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