Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize