Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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