I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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